An ordinary blog

2010-06-20T02:18:00.005+08:00

体谅 (续)

Understanding (Cont)

不怪你背叛
改变的只是你在我胸怀里成长
残忍的只是我要包容你的梦想
我爱你怎能阻止你活得开朗
眼泪赞成我体谅
谢谢你善忘
让我知道自己有那么好的修养
我不要你为了内疚而不安
我要你没有压力和别人再交往
不必发觉我的内伤

What do I understand by the word understanding? As simple as you seemed when we first met in primary education's PETS coursebook, we actually drifted further apart as we further understand each other. No matter how many split-personalities you have, you are of a superior power of discernment; enlightened intelligence no doubt.

Its not easy being an understanding person. Its even harder being an understanding person of goodwill. We are who we are through nature and nurture. Even though I felt being borne in the wrong time of life, what life has offered me was indeed much more fortunate than many. I have great parents who possess aspects I respect beside breeding and bringing me up. Although I don't communicate with them much, knowing them for 18years did give me much understanding. My mother has a stubborn yet typical auntie character which had frightened off many of my friends. I still remember the times when my friends would definitely ask for her absence before coming over my house. For all uncomfortableness she may show to the outside world, I know she values kinship a lot. Especially to her hand-grown siblings. Being the eldest female among her seven siblings, many things has to be taken into her own hands. Maybe it's really the hard times that grind a person. She developed a strong nature. What I actually admire is her strong belief in kinship. Despite inviting troubles time and time again, saying "this is the last time" for countless of times, she never gives up.

This is her nephew, my cousin. With your cross-referencing skills, I believe you can deduce she has none of understanding nor goodwill. However, she did grow up in an unpleasant environment with her parents switching roles with my mother. Illegally or legally robbing, she was forgiven. Changing a person is akin to killing a person. Except that the party killed will be the one trying to change the other. But now that she is married, I hope that she will have a better life ahead. That will be the best gratitude to my mother as well.

Recently, my mother secretly told me that after she passed on, she will leave majority of her assets to one of my aunt who often makes her go "vomiting blood" and then the remaining to me. This is supposed to be even kept from my father. Because in the eyes of general public, this aunt of mine certainly has an incorrigible nature in every sense. "Because she is my sister" will be the reason behind my mother's doing. The word "sister" alone can appease every frustration incurred, every decision erred, and every tears shed.

I kept mum throughout like I always do. But I felt great in my heart that she is able to stay firm to her belief throughout her life which many may falter. Those words from her gave birth to this post of mine. Being a person of values certainly does not pay. In fact it's worse than crime. Just like an artist whose beautification to the world will only be discovered upon demise. However, a true artist don't draw for returns...

Understanding yourselves is the same as understanding others; understanding the world.

2010-06-13T01:34:00.005+08:00

体谅
Understanding

不怪你背叛
改变的只是你在我胸怀里成长
残忍的只是我要包容你的梦想
我爱你怎能阻止你活得开朗
眼泪赞成我体谅
谢谢你善忘
让我知道自己有那么好的修养
我不要你为了内疚而不安
我要你没有压力和别人再交往
不必发觉我的内伤

So... half a year has gone by since the last time I signed in here. For all readers out there, I hope to ask for your understandings of my absence. There were actually moments whereby I blogged in my mind. Unfortunately my brain isn't an iPhone. But I will try backtracking them for my upcoming posts (Assure); every of them I remember. So let's just empty the conventional clockwise nature and undergo some time traveling, fine?

Ohya.... And one fine day when i visited my blog, I realized that there are an overwhelming amount of tags. But then again on closer look, " WHAT'S THAT" haha. Not that I'm against them or anything. I just find it funny for anything to be advertised on my blog but not so much on my friends'. Maybe they are targeting low-active rate customer idk?

Okay, abit tired.... so just a simple post for now. Cya

And it's the World Cup once again; something to keep me occupied through the nights.

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To casual taggers:

All- hello im back. lol

To advertising taggers:

All- Well... thanks for keeping my blog alive? haha.

Bypass

2009-12-16T02:27:00.006+08:00

This is a bypass. Will really update soon. haha.. Currently lack of the energy yet. okay, see u soon.
and erm, sorry for the lack of updates. i really need 10 hours of sleep for a single good update. lol. kk. cya. Letme just reply the tags then.

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To taggers:

yc (3 August), thanks. everything's fine? haha.

Sky (5 August), thankyou. lol... u too u too. hahas.

liwen (7 August), lol? i guess so? hahas... yup, updated. lol.

sasfinn (11 August), hahas... perhaps u'll gonna say it again? lol.

Loonzai (21 August), wa.. see ur tag really will sad. hahas... nvm. =)

pohkhee 31 August), yeap... it's very meaningful. =)

zorine (6 September) hello, haha.. soon soon. treat this as an appetizer?

xueling (15 September) lol, hi. yahla. nice nice indeed. eh.. ok? lol.

yicong (1 October) haha.. so far i think "holy" is the best word to describe? hmm..

zorine (9 October) hey. okokok. tryin very hard to. i believe the day will soon arrive?

pohkhee (13 October) relax relax. okok. i've started motivatin myself le. =)

Sky (28 October) yalor... so long nvr go ur house too! even till u have moved. steady de. the day i visit ur new home i will update. hahas.

Olga (3 November) U sure "wait" is the word anot? lol... anw, soon okay?

sasfinn (14 November) wa... Im feeling the heat. so its actually stressful to blog... lol.

yicong (17 November) wow.. This is what they called peer pressure....

2009-08-03T01:11:00.005+08:00

舍得

Bear to

终于舍得去成全去放手

过我自己的生活

偶尔想你的时候

就让回忆来陪我

终于舍得去成全去放手

不追问你的感受

尊重彼此的选择

当你决定了向左

我往前走

Sometimes, there is a price for blogging. Today, finally, I've paid my family fish. She was a graceful red-tail golden arowana. It has been six and a half years since our first acquaintance. Come to think of it, she's probably the only one standing by through the most important times of my life. Growing from a 5 inches puny into a fearsome 20+ inches beauty.

Arowanas are believed to be highly spiritual species of fishes. There's this folk tale about arowanas' demise as a shielding of calamity from its owners. Belief is about choosing. And this case I will. Harbouring all the burdens gave by us, she was more than just a decoration. I still remember the times I wished upon it as the solution to difficulties.

Speaking of the closest "kin" to it would have to be my dad. Who would painstakingly feed her every single day. She was such a fussy princess. Demanding only the freshest of prawns from market. Yes, she's eating what just like us- the raw prawns before processing. Before I learn of Ghandi, I learn of her. She goes on hunger strikes sometimes every now and then. ( just like what she did for the past few months before she left)

Before my parents went away for a day, my dad even instructed me to pay special attention on her. He, or rather we, knows. If dealing with a sudden problem is bitter, what can be said about knowing the problem beforehand and anticipating it with the same facade?

No I wasn't sad. It wouldn't be considered so. I need no consolation. It's merely a slight sense of absence and confuse. She was in a horrible battle before she lost. Thoroughly. But it was more of a relief.

The story will continue even after the proper burial carried out by my parents. It will never end. In my eyes, nothing ends in this world. It is just the perception of heart. The demisal of any loved ones too.

"Cherish" is a hypothesis invented after deprivation. In blunt, it's not invented.

There will sure be departures for everyone. Be it physical or psychological. But who will bear to?

Change the question, how wil you face it?

It doesn't matter... as long as you face it inside you.

Every single being has their own thoughts and opinions to perceive.

Asking myself indivually now on this moonless sunday midnight, " What is sleep", " What is schooling", " What is feeling"- i don't know.

But in all, This is life.

Farewell...

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To taggers:

benits, hi =)

HaoHao, to think i was having doubts of my blogging basis...

zorine, haha... yea, i didnt quite know... Time passes too fast. BUT i will always be here. =)

Olga, now prepare your next wait. lols...

yicong, its very tiring...

2009-06-11T00:35:00.005+08:00

孟婆汤

Mengpo's soup

虽然看不到听不到

可是逃不掉忘不了

就连枕边的你的发梢

都变成了煎熬

虽然你知道我知道

可是泪在漂心在掏

过了这一秒这一个笑

喝下这碗解药

忘了所有的好

所有的寂寥

Have you heard of the mengpo's soup? It's known as a soup served by an old lady "mengpo" standing by at the "helpless-bridge" in the netherworld. Of cos, all these are the preparations for reincarnation. For a new start that is.

But the real question is, will you drink? ok, lets make it simpler. If there's this soup available in the mortal world for you, will you?

Edited:

I've just got to know about the latest news of real madrid's bid for Cristiano Ronaldo being accepted. Looks like this is the hottest headline goin on now. 80million pounds is the price tag.

Worth it or not? it's not for us to decide. Although his heart was never actually with the club at all, acceptin his departure still breeds sadness. I will miss the "R-square; Fabulous four" names. Afterall he was once with us, once heroic. But of cos, i was never a fan of his characteristics. 80m is shall be a huge sum to build on a great team. i believe another star will appear in within.

As for him, let us remember him as the player we love, and hate.

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To taggers:

zorine, hey, thks for taggin=) cya soon.

finn, haha, hello. yup, great song that is. =)

Olga, wad standard?? lol... u very no standard sia..

Sky, yo. lol, i blog on free flow de. when everythin's right i will blog liao.

2009-05-28T01:52:00.005+08:00

一周年

Annual anniversary

不过一年后我们终于变了朋友

等不到你生日时候抱着你唱首歌

你看我还是那么的温柔

却是朋友的朋友再想不出什么借口还有要求

不过一年后我们终于只是朋友

回忆里有相同镜头现实是不同出口

说过的你是否还会记得你说过的永久

难道是友情比爱情永久

朋友

yea yea yea...

Its been a year. The same reason i blogged a year ago. The same song i put up so long ago. Everything seems so same yet different.

Well, will just be looking forward to later's match i guess? Just a short post. Cya soon.

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To taggers:

Olga, wa? o.0

xue ling, hi, haha... yea. cos i felt so too when posting? lol, happy can le. =)

Olga, lol, ya! nice. hope its the same later? haha..

benits, hello =)

oPx-, see, i updated partly cos of u. lol... yeap. tis' a short pre-update.

F@dli- Okay, no prob =)

finn, hello =)

2009-05-08T22:11:00.005+08:00

白色婚礼
White wedding

接近零下的天气
强迫自己穿着短袖上衣
冷到不能呼吸
却害怕穿上毛衣
又想起了你
发现是冬季
眼泪结了冰
分不清是太冷还是痛心
Oh来不及
毛衣来不及送洗

It's been four years. Four years since I last got to know the then miss Lee; four years of her thoughtful teachings; four years of receiving cares and concern; and four years of mispronounciation of my name. I deeply appreciate everything. Not only the positives, but as well as the negatives as a whole. This is the package, the gift I accept thoroughly. Thank you.

Yes I knew. I'm definitely not a good student by the general rulebook scale. Lazy, soft-spoken, and steadily owing you tons of homework snowballing since year 2005. Even when toto was struck, I perservered. Of cause, I felt deeply sorry for the disappointment and worries caused to you by my "study method" (if it was). But that was me. I knew I will achieve my not-so-high aims. If it was someone else, perhaps I would not even be typing these out. Your good made me guilty. But it was a good process for us with you giving everything and me achieving what I expected.

Deep in the warm red pumping beats, I've felt it. It was a pity I don't let you feel it. haha. For instant, a worser case than forgetting the birthday of someone you cared is remembering and doing nothing. Not because I've forgotten, not because I couldn't care less. But merely because I didn't. Many words in me had eluded you all along. Too much to even recall. Well... it all don't matter no more when I saw you conducting the marriage with the bright smile. It was not about you thanking us for coming, but we thanking you for inviting. The best way of feeling happy is to feel it on behalf of another party.=)

4E208- great memories.

Just when all of us went into JCs and Polys, you too have found your tertiary education.

The only difference is, our's are for two years or three. Your's is for eternity =)

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To tagger:

yicong, lol, time is me. hahas.

finn, oh, erm... pretty typical? nothin much de actually.. lol.

oPx-, yea! great game!

Olga, wads up? o.0. u tag me de. haha.

Sky, hi. relax.... i will when i wan to de. hahas.. stay tuned?

KRISTLE, hihi! =) pass by soon.

waisiong, lol... now got time liao lor? haha, longlong updated better. like got alot tags likedat.

yicong, yup. it's night now le.

zorine, DONE! u update more too! =)

pohkhee, okay okay. relax & be patient! the healthy one of cos. haha.. =)

yicong, lol... ya... will de will de. most of the times no feel nowadays.

2009-04-11T04:35:00.005+08:00

都市夜归人

City night-homers

你忘了吧所有的斯守承诺

谁都知爱了没有一点的把握

也别去想哪里是甜蜜的梦乡

还是孤单的路上自由的孤单

你忘了吧所有的甜美的梦

梦醒后好久才见温暖的曙光

像夜归的灵魂已迷失了方向

也不去管情路上永恒太短暂

Hello, im back. i got this short stun at the password tab when i was about to sign in and blog. lol. well... Had a day soccer which is ever so great after a long wait due to the rain. slacked and walked all the way home with harry stoppin by at zijie's house. It's bout an hour and half journey walk i guess?

Nonetheless 11p.m isn't really late as my mum returned at 12a.m while my dad returned at 2a.m. Lol, mum had gotten some very cool stuff after a week from china. Phones, dvds and a mp5 for me? haha. will try it someday.

And erm, regarding my destop's msn, i can conclude. It is hopeless. lol. i upgraded the live and plus! version, the same old problem of the msn service unavailable. so went inside the control panel to delete it. Then i downloaded the 8.0 version and went on to install it. But the installation failed. It says sth like this- " msn messenger setup is unable to continue as there is a newer version of it existing." i thought about it and heh. forget it...

But since poly starts nxt monday, i shld be usin laptop rather frequently. so shall be able to online.

ok, its 5a.m le. Stay tuned for the next post which may be coming anytime!

Bye, nites.

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To taggers:

benits, lols, yup. And i thank you for that! hahas...

yicong, yeap. it came. and will stay.

Olga, o.0 lol... thats good? deep thinking promotes blood circulation in brain de.

Xenium, ok. after i post tis i relink.

zorine, hi, thanks.. okay, done le.

shady boy, yo, lol... ya... hi... haha.

shady boy, oo... ok sure, ask me somewhere else? lol...

waisiong, lol... relax! i always online de. haha...

benits, hahaha, its good friday! TGIF!

finn, lols... ty, it sure does. hahas....

yicong, yalor... sad i no draft. lol, shuang jiu anyhow post de bah? updated anyway?

Olga, i oso wanted. but failed... nvm, i've no regrets. i tried my best...

huiquan, hello! long time no see ah? hahas...

JASLYN!:D, hihi, thanks for taggin! okay, done le.

waisiong, lol, ur tag sibei chim. like tongue twister. hahas... now updated liao mah... absence makes the heart grow fonder yea? hah...

pohkhee, hi, lol...thanks. jiu shi nice den put de rite? haha....

2009-03-31T02:43:00.003+08:00

我可以忍受

I can tolerate

我可以忍受你不够爱我

我可以忍受你有别的梦

就算是编谎话哄我

至少你还在乎我的感受

我可以忍受眼神的空洞

我可以忍受你时间不够用

却不能忍受作了那么多

是她拥有我该得到的温柔

okay, once again i'm back. due to demands...

K, back to the topic. i went on a hiatus after the second man utd's lost.

I hereby dedicate this song on behalf of man utd towards the league title.

Although its really heart-wrenching each time we were facing setbacks, we are able to tolerate everything as long as we got what we deserved- the crown. Which in the song's case represents the love of one not being reciprocated etc..

Well... played soccer a few times this week. It's great, literally out-of-the-world. K, nvm, enough bout soccer for now atleast.

Ohya, there's one more thing i as well as u guys need to tolerate about. that is my msn not being able to work. so... sorry if anyone's waitin for me to online to ask me on anythin etc. ( though i doubt so. haha) hmm, tried reinstalling it but failed. And wun be bothering it anymore till further notice. Since i dun realli use much of it? Well, any matter just ring me, sms, comment, tag or somethin likedat.

And erm, had been non-bloggin becos of my laziness too. I did have the mindset to blog, but it's all inside. Had some inspirations on wad to blog on the previous night/day at bout 4a.m. i got hook on and suffered insomnia til 7a.m+. thats why sometimes i dislike bloggin. sometimes. lol.

Shall blog them out on later posts if i have the time+mood. K, nothin much to comment on currently.

Bye guys..

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To taggers:

peiqi, hello peiqi =)

peiqi, okay. sure. but my msn's havin some prob now. might need to wait awhile k?

benits, lol? dun get so worked up. haha, maybe it's not a bad thing? maybe?

benits, ok ok.... i understood. hmm... i tink that it's not profound. Everyone got their own style. haha

sasfinn, lol... oh... icic, nvm. better late than never? hahas.

Xenium, i did put up a relink blog mah. i was awaiting and testin out how frequent my blog hits were. haha.. oh, thanks. =)

KRISTLE, thanks, haha... u're always welcomed =)

wendy, hello =) pass by soon! or rather, tag soon!

benits, hi there again. hahas...=)

yicong, lol, same goes to u. haha...

yicong, i prefer this direction =)

Olga, i knew u would tag this. 100% for every word. try sth diff nxt time k?

benits, updated! haha. will update soon again de. just some plain routs here..

waisiong, yo, haha, yup. i'm giving my all le. i veri slow de. lol. relax! you need to master run before flying! lol... now den i notice both my tag reply post ends with u. shows how influential u are sia! haha... bye!

2009-03-21T02:36:00.017+08:00

淘汰

Eliminated

Well, lady luck did shine upon Man Utd's road to glory. With probably the simplest of opponents in both quarter and semi finals draws.

Hmm, although my wish didn't come true, it seems to be building up for a potential fairytale-like finale showdown. Liverpool- you better don't get eliminated so soon! Perhaps just perhaps, it's all written? Looking forward... very...

For what happened last week-

只能说我输了

也许是你怕了

我们的回忆没有皱折

你却用离开烫下句点

只能说我认了

你的不安赢得你信任

我却得到你安慰的淘汰

Don't worry, i believe, i still do.

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To taggers:

yoyo, o.0 thats great? lol...

benits, not bad not bad, try harder next time?

jh, lol? you second le. =)

benits, under the Olympic rule, you have been DQ for competing twice. haha.

oPx-, haha, thanks. There's no belated, only elated =)

YANBIN, hi, thank you thank you. I've received it beforehand =) hahas.

yicong, lol, seeing ur tag makes me wonder about the United Kingdoms (UK). I represent the tiny red dot. haha... my foot!

benits, define intellectual.

Olga, obviously u didnt? lol... thx for taggin! do tag more? haha.

benits, lol... u sure tagged =) haha, thanks for your persistent effort!

yicong, i wonder how everyone prayed? pray my wish or pray for my wish?

sasfinn, haha, thought u always do? lol... pardon my shallow comprehensiveness, u late for? the "race"?

waisiong, well tagged ws!!!

2009-03-18T12:15:00.000+08:00

新不了情

New endless love

Yes, this will be. New year, new blog, new skin, new blogging format. Was actually wanting the url to be anti-clockwise insteard of emptied. But i realised it was too "conventional" (sort of) or simple and it roughly represents looking back at the past. Which we, as human, shan't. Emptied-clockwise on the other hand, like this new blog, represents having the future path cleared for travelling.

Okay, fine. i admit it. anti-clockwise was used and i had no other choice but this. i'm don't wanna be categorised under the "birds" category who especially have a taste for sour-type grapes. Please visit yc's blog AKA bird park for more information.

Finally, i wana thank those who celebrated or wished me an age older. Regardless of face to face, msn, sms or merely in your heart. Don't worry, i've received =). Actually, i've long forgo my own birthday as anything else other than a normal daily life's standard. Oh ya, thanks for the nice gifts too. My first time receiving gifts since p5 i think? Believe it or not, i have gifts since p5 that i had not open. But i broke the habit yesterday, together with the new gifts. It was funny and interesting to be able to get those childhood board-games from those gifts. Reminding me of the fun times in primary school life. I feel that the gift itself, is already greater than anything else. Be it a million dollar content. That is why all these years i had safely kept the gifts, wrapped, untouched.

And now, time for this to be shown the light. =)

my birthday wish- this friday champions league draw, Liverpool - Manchester United.